Attitudes And Alternatives

A spiritual teacher remarked to a student: You stand in your own shadow and then wonder why it is dark. Abraham Maslow said: "If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see everything in terms of a nail." To develop alternative methods of dealing with issues, it means realizing you have the power of choice.

To have only two methods of dealing with a problem is to be impaled on the horns of a dilemma. The two routes to follow are usually both unacceptable. These are to either take a fixed course of action, or to do nothing at all. Neither will bring happiness. It isn't reasonable to plant corn and expect peas to come up.

A third choice of what to do or say is needed. Parallel thinking means searching your memory for a solution to a parallel experience that, applied to this problem, adapts it to your present situation. Failing this, you have the wonderful ability to ask for help...

When you are faced with a problem for which you don't have a solution, take a few moments and let your mind to approach the situation from a fresh perspective. I once watched a young man in a restaurant repair his partner's glasses. A screw on the frame had come loose. After some contemplation, he turned to the lady at the next table and asked her if she had a nail file he could borrow. She handed one over and he used it to tighten the screw.

I asked him what made him think of a nail file, and he said: "A knife wouldn't usually be carried in public, but a nail file would. The lady next to me was well groomed, and looked as if she would carry one. As it turned out, she did, so my problem was solved."

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