I Said What You Heard MeAt the ripe old age of 20 and in the "prime" of life, I knew everything. Didn't need nothing or nobody to show or tell me anything! Needed no assistance in living my life. I had it all sewed up. As time passed, it dawned on me I wasn't always right - and neither was I close to it... Being right was a full time issue back then, as it is to many of us at some point in our lives. In building a better relationship with yourself the question to ask is - do I want to make the right decision, or make the decision right? To make the right decision takes the courage to share your position and ventilate your motives, goals, fears and problems. To make the decision right means being bull-headed obstinant, developing myopic vision and a commitment to denying reality. The cost of being right totally outweighs the cost of being honest with your feelings. I heard the phrase "I said what you heard me" while watching a Bugs Bunny cartoon with my daughter. Sylvester the cat said it to his friend who didn't understand him. For some reason it struck me as quite profound. Let's call it an exercise in Saturday morning metaphysics. Over the years this insight has proven very true for me - especially when I assume the other person understands what I said. It is easier to assume the other person knows what we are talking about and they are defective than it is to take responsibility for our feelings. Seek first to understand, then seek to be understood. Here I am stealing a line from Steven Covey, yet these words are profoundly true. It comes as an earth shattering experience to some people to realize another person's opinion has as much validity as theirs in the world.  Next article...
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